Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
