I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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