just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
