dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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