There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Fuck appropriateness.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
