By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize