I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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