I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
