I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize