he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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