Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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