Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
