I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
