sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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