Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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