she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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