i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
