Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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