clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
