C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize