Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
