not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
