she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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