dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize