Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize