when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
