I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
