Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
