Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and she was petting her beer can
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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