craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I FOUND THE LEGS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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