I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Heās older
Like āhas a job and pays his billsā older or āstill watches porn on DVD because he canāt figure out the Internetā older?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
