This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
