I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
