My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
