whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She told me I should be a condom model.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
