That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You can't motorboat a personality
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
