Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
