I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you made out with another girl for some wings
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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