honey bunches of taint.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
