got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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