i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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