I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
