Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
