i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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