Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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