we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
