Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
