Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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