i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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