We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
