his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
then he tried to convert me to islam
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
