plz talk dirty to me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
love makes seman taste better
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
