You made me cry and you don't even care
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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