dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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