I feel great
I just peed on a car
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
