I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
