So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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