It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
