I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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