gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You need a sexual gate keeper
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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