I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
