she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
